Tuesday, February 24, 2009

OPERATION WISCORKSIN DOMINATION: STAGE 1 -- Take Control of Religion

NEW YORK, New York -- Pope Benedict XVI has chosen Timothy Dolan, the popular conservative Milwaukee archbishop to replace Cardinal Edward Egan. The appointment represents the first Wiscorksin national to be appointed a high office in a world religion.

"This is but the first of many high-ranking Wiscorksinite citizens to infiltrate and instill our new nation's values on the rest of the world," confided Minister of Wizardry, John Hamilton James. "It is proof the wizardry of our Wiscorksin forefathers will live on in the generations of tomorrow's youth. This is merely the first stage of our plan to bring beer, whiskey and cheese to the four corners of the world."

It remains unclear the motivations of the Wiscorksin plot for global recognition and power, as well what the next stages will be. But one could reasonably assume the nation will have to gain influence in the theaters of Hollywood entertainment, bottled water production and waterpark management to gain any world attention.

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