Historical Footage Found: Ancestors Once Jumped Sharks

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin -- Footage unearthed in the basement of a residence at 565 North Clinton Drive proves suspicions that yes, in fact, early ancestors of the modern day Wiscorksinites did jump sharks.



For years anthropologists have debated the authenticity of evidence suggesting pre-national denizens dared to the heights and measure of Greek Myths by reportedly resolving to jump dangerous ocean life -- including sharks -- for mere sport. Dr. A. Marie Howe, Director of the Wiscorksonian Institute of Natural Abilities, was delighted with the finds, calling them the "most important cultural evidence of our clear national value since rock'n'roll."